Fuck the top, I'm chasing the bottom!

I'm super excited about this new challenge of introducing Scrum to the team, making the switch to an Agile way of working together and creating digital downloads and DIY coaching products in collaboration with the people we serve. We introduced a new policy [taken from Sex Work activism] of 'Nothing about you without you' and that means live feedback every step of the way and being open to that nomatter what.

I'll tell you what, you want to thicken your skin and really push yourself to that zero fucks state of confidence - try this out. The best shortcut I've found is creating something I'm excited about, putting it to someone I know doesn't hold back and saying 'give me it straight'. I felt ALIVE.

All this got me thinking about that whole notion of striving for the top.

Most of us chase the top of the proverbial mountain - I know I certainly have. I've always wanted to be the best at everything I do. It came from competing with my sister when I was growing up. She was pretty and popular and I could never be as pretty and popular as her so I became sporty, academic and later, good at business. It set me apart from her but also pushed us apart [that's for another day.]

Back to the mountain... I've climbed a fair few Munros in my time and studying geology definitely helped me tick off a bunch. The top, for me, is a place to relax, take my foot off the gas and get comfortable - maybe eat a wee sandwich. All good but I was doing that in life too. Once I got to the top I figured I wouldn't need to climb any more, I'd have arrived and I could stand on top of the world knowing I'd done it.

But consider for a moment, it was also another way to stay safe. No more danger, no more challenge. Apply that to life and it's really 'i'm not good enough' disguised as 'I made it'.

When we reach the top it's time to stop... Or worse, go downhill [hello self-sabotage]. It's comfort zone territory and the comfort zone is a place where we can coast and avoid being challenged or worse - get things wrong. We are never on the line or at risk in the comfort zone.

Is it a bad thing? Or a good thing? It's neither. It depends on the context so let's look at another scenario...

I remember climbing Ben Nevis one year with my friend Ginge [he's ginger and calls himself this so it's all good]. We were almost at the top in remarkable time and I was about to celebrate when we turned the corner and it became apparent that we had a way to go. What we thought was the end was just a false summit and we had a Wayyyy to go to reach the top.

So we trudged on... Another 2 false summits later and I was ready to throw the towel in. "No chance! I won't let you! We've come this far - we are finishing this!" said Ginge... The arse kicking I needed. I dug in, steeled my frustration and stomped out my frustration till it left me.

We finally reached the snow covered portion [the final stretch] when Ginge started giving in. We were taking two steps forward, one step back as our feeble boots were no match for the slippery snow and we were ill-prepared. Life is like that sometimes. Getting nowhere fast and maybe it's a lack of planning or teamwork or knowledge but sometimes it's like that.

It felt like the end was in sight but out of reach. "I can't do this..." Ginge moaned.

"Oh yes you can! You made me keep going past all those false summits and you want to bail now? No way! Let's get a rhythm going - 1-2-1-2-1-2!!!" and off we trotted, finally reaching the actual peak.

We tapped the top and I remember feeling so elated that I never gave up and so grateful to my team mate who believed in me and pulled me through the false summit frustration so that I could pull him through the snow. I believe to this day that he's the biggest reason I made it up there and the funny part is - I had only met him once - at a fetish party in London and drunkenly agreed to do this climb. When he called me up to organise it I couldn't actually remember any of the conversation. I said yes anyway and man, I'm glad I did because I met someone who just had my back - no questions asked. When I lose faith in humanity I come back to this story as he's proof that length of time knowing someone means nothing - anyone can connect with anyone, anywhere and really be there when it counts. It's a choice and we can all make it.

Relief and excitement was short-lived though as we tapped the top, ate another sandwich, took some silly photos and said "right, suppose it's time to go down now?"

It all seemed a bit of an anti-climax. All that effort, struggle, mental challenge to tap a pile of stones. It was almost like the real buzz came from the climb not the summit...

So let's consider for a moment chasing the bottom. Not as in moving down hill. I mean the bottom of the next mountain, hitting your goals and treating each milestone as a false summit and climbing again, even higher. It takes remarkable faith in yourself and your abilities to adapt and grow when you chase the next bottom rather than the easy top.

Rather than coast along or give up - get committed to our own discomfort. And once we've got almost comfortable - take things even bigger, start at the next bottom & work our way up.

This way of being and working makes me feel alive and purposeful.

Take a look for yourself...

What are you chasing? Is it the ease and comfort of the top? Or are you ready to dig in and climb an even higher mountain? Who is your Ginge, pulling you past the false summits?

Let me know in the comments

#retrainyourthinking#coaching